It could be a better day

Things at work are going off the tracks but somehow I am unfazed by it. This blogging actual seems to be helping me. Some thoughts on good days and bad days. There are times when I seem completely unable to accomplish the most trivial task and I sit almost frozen in my chair, The To-Do pile looming nearby and growing larger as I wait. What is that all about? I know I have to do it but somehow I disconnect and do nothing, which of course just adds to the feeling of uselessness and despair. Despair seems like a strong word but what else would you call it? I tend to care so little about myself at that time that I even give up good grooming and often will not shower or shave for no apparent reason. How difficult that is for my family as dad kind of looks like a bum and feels like one too. I always feel better when I get cleaned up but still don't know what stops me from doing it.