Arthritis connection

Sometimes we wonder where did the depression come from in the first place? For me the start basically co-insides with my first symptoms of a form of Reactive Arthritis known as Reiter's Syndrome. I was always a very active, strong guy who worked construction, excelled at sports and loved outdoor activities. My perception of who I was was wrapped up in the physical me. With the onset of the arthritis at the age of 38 along with 2 or 3 bouts with Lyme disease since then I began to rapidly decline both physically and mentally. Previously, I found no challenge too big to think I could not do it. I built my own Log Home at 24 with very little help and no electricity preferring to do most things the old-fashioned way, by hand with hand powered tools. Once I got sick this became an impossibility, with even the most ordinary task, like walking, becoming a tremendous challenge. After years of different treatments with a vast array of side effects, I am finally doing better with the arthritis but in the meantime my sense of self was destroyed. The doubt and self-loathing that come with depression had firmly established itself in my psyche and that is the real battle I fight now. It took awhile for me to connect the two illnesses but when I came to the realization that one had spawned the other it began to help me understand better. My real goal now is to reestablish confidence in who I am and how I want to be received by others. The shame that comes with depression has pushed me around long enough and it is time to claim my life back, with all of its' blessings. When depression is winning we loose sight of the good things because they are blocked by the clouds of deception and fear. Deception about the balance of good and evil in our lives and fear that the evil thoughts are true. It is a beautiful sunshiny day today and I will go out into it to get some energy. Consider talking out loud with somebody about your depression and maybe you can begin to find its' roots and start to deal with it that way.