Missing in action

Where have I been? When I started this blog one of my concerns was that I would start and then quit, disappointing myself and the two or three people who might actually be reading it. I am trying not to let that happen but sometimes it is a struggle to get going with it. Some rougher days this week with a difficult time getting focused, eventual successes but not without some considerable angst and self loathing. Thursday into Friday was a very difficult period with the weather really taking its' toll on my arthritic joints. My hands are still a mess but the rest of me seems to be coming along okay. Some thoughts on seasons, talking recently to a fellow sufferer and he was saying how the fall has always been a bad time of year for bouts of depression for him. For me, fall finally brings a time of some relief for me from the heat. Those of you who know me know that I struggle with heat all spring and summer and it is not until this time of year that I can finally slow down the sweating. What has this got to do with anything? Well it is hard to feel good about yourself when you are always sweating all over the place and embarrassing your friends and family. I know it shouldn't matter but come on, it can be downright disgusting! I find this time of year easier to be outside because of this and I really need to take advantage of it. Part of my mood change may have to do with missing gym workouts both on Tuesday and Thursday. I had a hard time getting up to go workout this morning and it was quite painful when I started, but I wound up getting at least a good half hour in on the bike. Got out tonight to be with a bunch of friends and that was great for my mind. Good friends can really make a difference about how I feel.